Why Writing Is the Last Step in Helping Your Child Learn to Write

I often receive calls from parents exploring The Write Compass’ writing programs: W.I.N.G.S or the 6‑Month Online Writing Course, and I truly understand where their concerns come from.

A recent call from a distraught mother of an 8th grader made me think: why are most parents calling me about the same problem, and why are they often refusing to accept that, to make their children write, we have to adopt a patient and a creative approach?

Writing does not happen in a silo. As writing mentors, we guide a child in writing by working on many layers through Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Art therapy. If we dive into writing head-on with the child, they’re just going to resist; and if we don’t make learning fun and engaging, they won’t be open to new concepts, acceptance, or trusting us as their mentor.

I was taken aback when the lady, a teacher herself, asked me to give her a further discount on my fees, as she wanted a long-term association. She dictated what I should teach her child and how, without even giving her child a chance to work with me.

Mentorship comes at a price. If you get a good mentor, you keep them for life. We don’t bargain with mentors. I’ve been fortunate to have mentors from both my corporate and personal life, whom I have reached out to for guidance and support.

10 reasons why parents and children don’t enrol for our program

1. Their child loves to read but hesitates to write. They’re worried, unsure, and looking for support.
2. Their child uses AI to write their answers and has almost forgotten how to think independently. Overreliance on AI chat tools and search engines is stunting creativity in its infancy, as working independently is a chore for children.
3. Some children just don’t like to read, and their parents are eager for them to develop a reading habit. Reading or writing cannot be enforced. There’s a method to the process.
4. Some children feel writing is a waste of time and has no relevance, as they’re not keen to be writers. We don’t mentor children to be writers, but independent, well-grounded individuals.
5. Some parents feel that learning to read and write is not creative; there has to be a strict structure, just like at school. Ours is more of an after-school program that complements what they learn at school.
6. Some children are so stressed about whether they’re using the correct grammar that they tend to freeze before writing.
7. Parents and children tend to set a very high benchmark: the child has to write essays and answers like a pro. My concern is: who decides what the benchmark is, and why?
8. Some parents want instant results; that’s what they expect to see reflected in their report card. They seldom realise how their child will handle crises or disappointments, which is one of our program’s focuses.
9. Sometimes parents are so fixated on how ‘learning’ should be that they tend to dictate how I should ‘teach’ and not ‘mentor’ their child.
10. A child refused to attend my classes as she told her mum, “I have to think and write. Going for tuitions is easier as I have to just copy from the textbook and what ma’am tells me to write.” While tuition is good, to maintain consistency, practice, complete the syllabus, and get good marks, there could be a loss of independent thought if we don’t challenge their minds enough.

A gentle reminder from a mentor

What I gently remind parents is this: an aversion to writing doesn’t appear overnight, and it doesn’t disappear overnight either.

Years of conditioning, pressure, parental and peer comparisons, and syllabus‑bound learning take time to unlearn.

Schools and teachers do their best, but with large class sizes, individual attention isn’t always possible.

That’s where mentorship steps in; not to replace academics, but to create a safe space where children can think, express, and grow at their own pace.

In my programs, we use writing, art, conversations, and games to dissolve mental blocks, rebuild confidence, and shift negative self‑beliefs.

This process needs patience. It needs breathing room. It needs trust.

No quick results, it’s a game of time and patience.

If you’re looking for quick results or a sudden jump in marks, this may not be the right fit.

Mentorship cannot be rushed; when children feel pressured, they shut down.

When they feel safe, they open up, and the results follow naturally. There have been instances when the children write beautifully (I’m not delving too much into grammar/spellings yet), expressing themselves or even writing unique and creative stories/essays, but when it comes to writing at school, they tend to shut down.

After the parent-teacher meetings, I sometimes get calls from parents that their child does not write or express much at school. That’s when I realised there must be some place we’re missing an important aspect: why does the child do well in my class but not at school?

In my sessions at the W.I.N.G.S Program, the children are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. I don’t give them marks during spelling dictation. They’re so ingrained with marks that they count the number of correct spellings and give themselves a score.

Earlier, they hesitated to use big words; now, with gradual, tender guidance, their mindset has shifted to “Sure ma’am, I will try.” Why? Because I tell them, “Don’t worry about mistakes, just write. We can always fix it later.” That’s all. I take the burden off them to do well. They just have to be present and give writing a try. That’s all!

Why do some children dislike writing

Writing is an often-overlooked and highly underrated skill. We tend to think that writing is all about grammar, but there’s more to it. I’ve noticed that some children I have mentored are so tense and nervous about whether they’ve used the right spellings or punctuation that they just stop writing, let alone attempt to write.

Parents complain their children are unable to express themselves – be it written or spoken, even when their children are voracious readers. It usually stems from the fear of judgment. As reading is personal, speaking and writing are open to others’ speculation, especially from parents and teachers.

Why do we have an enrolment screening

We begin with a short reading and writing screening to understand the child’s coachability and the family’s readiness for the mentorship journey. This is not to judge the child, but to gauge the child’s coachability quotient.

While their reading and writing ‘test’ helps me assess their current level of proficiency, it also helps me understand whether the child is open to learning. If they aren’t, it reflects in what they write, and I humbly refuse.

In case I feel that the child needs intervention, in some cases with delayed speech, reading or writing skills, I do suggest to the parents to approach an occupational therapist for children who can work with them. It does happen that some parents are in denial, but I have to refuse, as it would not be right for me to step in and mentor the child.

What you should look for in our writing program

So, dear parents, when you approach us, grant your child and the mentor the time and space to build a stronger, happier foundation.

Let’s not rush to fix things just because you feel your child is not there yet! They will.

A calmer child always performs better, whether in writing, reading, art, or academics.

If you’d like to explore our writing programs, let’s connect to find the right fit for your child.