A Christmas CSR activity that became a reality check

It was during the Christmas weekend, nine years ago in 2016, while working at a small digital agency, that we were asked to take our respective teams to a senior living home in Mumbai as part of a CSR activity on behalf of our client.

Image 1: Chocolate cake by a home baker. Image 2: Cake being served to everyone. Photo credit: Tanya Munshi

Little of what we had expected, it was one of the most life-altering experiences for my team and me. Armed with freshly baked chocolate cakes from a promising home baker and Christmas decorations, my young, enthusiastic team (I was older than the founders of the startup) carefully decorated the rooms with colourful string lights, adding a refreshing festive tinge to the sombre atmosphere.

We spent the entire day there, interacting and talking to older people. When our client and founders arrived, they spent time with the elderly and donated a few essentials that would help them.

As the team, founders, and client interacted, we gradually got comfortable, moved to each room, and began talking to the elderly men and women.

While a few elderly people sat on their beds, waiting for us to come and interact with them, with old, fragile eyes, some got up and came to us to greet us, wondering whether we’d sit with them and talk. Of course, we did; we dedicated an entire day to them.

I even assisted the nurses and attendants in the kitchen, laying out the food on plates and cutting the cake for everyone to savour.

The elderly were so happy – they had a childlike exuberance, showing that they wait for such CSR activities: people come to meet them, talk to them, they feel validated, and, albeit for a few hours, feel important, knowing very well that, after a point, we’ll all leave.

Image 3: Festive menu Image 4: An elderly cutting a chocolate cake. Photo credit: Tanya Munshi

Conversations That Stirred Our Souls

Some of them were so eager to talk… one of the elderly ladies told me she had been a senior bank manager for over three decades. She spoke smartly, in fluent English. Then she teared up, saying, “Now I’m here…”. I did not prod further; I just held her hand, sat silently beside her, and watched my team talk to every elderly person possible, laugh, talk, tell a little about themselves, as the elderly were so eager to know about us —maybe they were trying to spot a flicker of familiar youth that they may remember.

During our visit, we were informed by the in-charge that many of the elderly live here, as in Mumbai, owing to small spaces and busy work schedules. Not every working family is in a position to take care of or devote time to them, and hiring a personal attendant is expensive for many.

With space constraints, it’s challenging to manage; hence, many of them are brought here, but their family members always drop by to visit them. Many elderly people lived here and went home on weekends, during vacations, or during festivals, and would come back. We were told that not everything is grim. Of course, the purpose of our visit is to add a little sprinkling of joy in whatever way possible, not scratch any surface.

It was a Friday when we paid a visit to the senior living home. Over the weekend, at home, a heavy silence engulfed me. The elderly lady’s words that she was a senior bank manager and now here, remained with me.

These words remained with me for a while – that when we’re working in corporate, getting 5-star ratings, bonuses, and fantastic appraisals, they don’t define who we are or where we’ll end up. There are far bigger things than our job profile, designation, and the appraisals we’re labelled with.

What the Elderly Taught Us About Empathy

On Monday, when we reached the office, my entire team was so silent. Something had changed in all of us. They came and spoke with me, saying they had cried.

When we’re young, we seldom think about the bigger things in life. We feel we’re invincible – and rightly so!

But such reality checks keep us grounded in life. That we don’t allow sometimes petty things to overpower and overshadow our worth. Such experiences keep us humble and prevent false pride from getting in the way. We remain empathetic even in a corporate setup. Sometimes, not everything can be about numbers.

Many of us in our corporate careers would have second-guessed ourselves and talked ourselves down just because we did not meet some manager’s expectations. And we let that simmer for weeks, months, until it makes us believe that we’re not good enough because our manager said so.

Image 5 & 6: Some of the elderly with whom we spoke at length and were deeply moved. Photo credit: Tanya Munshi

The visit to the old people’s home taught us that no matter how high we climb in our careers, no matter the titles or bonuses, what truly matters is how we treat others — and how we stay grounded. It reminded us that empathy is not a soft skill. It’s a life skill.

At The Write Compass, I work on these very elements that reinvent self-worth, writing a positive narrative about ourselves and staying grounded. We work on negative self-beliefs to become more self-caring and forgiving. We help you nurture a growth mindset, find opportunities in obstacles, and be kind to yourself first, without letting any appraisal or job designation define you. You’re much more than all this.

This is the inner work that many of us park aside, thinking it’s lame. I’ve even done this when I was younger. But when experiences keep repeating, that’s when we should sit down, introspect, and understand what this experience was trying to teach us.

As per the visit to the old people’s home, that was one reality check we did not know we needed. That visit taught us to stay grounded, humble and human despite all the designations, awards, five-star appraisals and more. Because at the end, no one will remember how many awards you won or promotions you received, they’ll remember how you treated your colleagues and juniors at work.