Lessons in Kindness and Courage from my Dogs

When I discussed with my husband that I would be stepping down from corporate life, that I’d be home working on The Write Compass full-time and focusing on raising our daughter, we decided to get a dog we always wanted to have. We’ve waited for over a decade to get a dog, as we had to be committed to caring for a living being, after all.

Our loving companion – Lisa, our beautiful Indie girl. Photo credit: Tanya Munshi

Being loved by an Indie

I’ve had an Indie – a black and white rescued pup, Lisa, when I was growing up as a school kid in the mid-1990s in Mumbai. She was not only mine, but my parents’ dearest companion for over 17.5 years.

Whoever had met Lisa will vouch that she was the most adorable, loving, kind and goofy Indie girl ever. She was the companion to my parents when they had their morning tea, enjoying her biscuits and rusks, which my mom (who never liked dogs, but looked after Lisa so well) would give her by hand. Lisa was my father’s morning-walk companion and, thanks to his army routine, helped keep her healthy and fit through regular walks and grooming. They never felt alone after my brother and I left home for work until the day she passed away.

Lisa’s passing was tragic; we lost her to a dog bite from another rogue pet dog, who was being walked without a leash. We have never been able to fill the void Lisa has left us with, and even to date, friends, relatives, house helps, driver bhaiyas, and anyone who has met her remember her so fondly; and what a lovely way to remember someone after someone’s passed on!

Being a dog mom again to our golden pup – Samrat. Photo credit: Tanya Munshi

Why I avoided getting a dog again

Why am I sharing a little snippet about Lisa today? Because for the longest time, I’ve kept avoiding getting another dog for fear of losing him/her again. But then, once you’ve loved a dog and, more importantly, been loved back by a dog, you’ll probably always feel a vacuum in your heart until you keep a doggie or any animal as a pet.

This time, after several months of research, we finally zeroed in on a golden retriever pup.  The research included talking to breeders, pet enthusiasts, dog owners, and vets. Yes, getting the right breed from an ethical breeder was most important. Though there may be little to no reference to ‘ethical breeders’ mentioned, it is by all the research and interviews you do with breeders that you come to know who is kinder and ethical, and you proceed from there.

Seeing our golden pup for the first time

When we saw him over a video call, my heart exploded with love. It was the love I had locked deep inside me after Lisa’s passing. I cried a little. Of course, we had to wait until he was over 45-50 days old, and we welcomed our little pup home. We prepped our daughter as well, who has been wanting a dog for the longest time.

Since I had recovered from fibromyalgia, I was told by people that I’m risking bringing a dog. How would I take him for a walk every day? I told them, “We cannot park life aside until the moment is right.” We decided to take one day at a time.

It was as if I was reliving being a mom to a newborn baby all over again – my husband and I taking turns to keep him warm in the winters with his blanket, checking on him when he whimpered or cried in the night and now poof, it’s been a year already, and he’s our darling handsome boy. We named him Samrat, meaning “emperor” or “ruler.” He’s the king of hearts for all of us and anyone who has had the good fortune of meeting him. He carries Lisa’s legacy of softness, love, kindness and goofiness, and even now I end up calling him ‘Lisa’ instead of Samrat.

So, on his first birthday, here are life’s valuable lessons this fur ball has taught me:

1. People are struggling to love themselves; why would they love an animal?

It hurt me when people would enter the elevator and see us with Samrat; they would look at us with disgust and tell us to step aside or that we shouldn’t be there. Samrat made me realise that we humans are struggling to love ourselves and one another; how can I expect them to love an animal? With that realisation came acceptance, and you stop questioning the hatred for animals from humans.

2. Being patient and silent when showered with hatred  

Not all triggers and negativity need to be met with negative words. There have been several instances that Samrat and I have not been allowed to enter the lift because (a) he is a dog and (b) he does not have a muzzle, even when he’s on a leash. We’ve learnt to wait sometimes over 15 minutes, as most of the time one, or even both, of the elevators are ‘out of order’. Since a single elevator is jam-packed, we’re not allowed to enter… sometimes, yes, if there are kind people; mostly no, unless he’s muzzled. At such times, it is best to be silent and patient, as not all battles are meant to be fought.

3. Education has nothing to do with kindness

The ones who spoke the sweetest in the elevator of our building wished us a good morning or a hello, started shouting and looking at us with utter disgust the moment they saw us with a leashed pet dog.

We have taught our daughter to always ask and enter the lift with our dog. We follow this protocol as we respect that not everyone likes dogs.

Our daughter waits for an empty lift while taking Samrat for a walk. Instead of entering the second lift, people barge in and start yelling at my daughter, telling her not to enter the lift with a dog without a muzzle. She’s often been told, “Haven’t you seen how animals are kept in cages? How many people has he attacked so far?”

It’s always easiest to silence the ‘weak’, in this case a child and her leashed 8–9-month-old golden retriever pup. That made me realise that educated people living in high rises in cities have no clue what kindness is.

4. Don’t let negative words affect you

People have spoken harsh and cruel comments while we’re in the lift. I’ve seen Samrat feel sad, but once he steps out of the elevator and we go to a park, that’s it; he runs and plays with his friends or his ball and forgets all the negativity. Captain Pawsitive is teaching me not to let negative words affect me.

Team meeting and offsites with Captain Pawsitive and Mumma. Photo credit: Anindita Munshi

5. Focus on the good

With him, I’m still learning to park the negativity aside and focus on the positives. There are people who are very kind to us. Once, Samrat and I had to wait over 30 minutes to go back home because only one elevator was working. The residents yelled as usual; we were not allowed to enter. There were some construction workers working in an apartment in the building who brought their wares in the lift. They looked at me and said, “Arey ma’am, you’re still here? It’s been over half an hour; haven’t you been able to take the lift?” I replied, “Nahi bahiya, we’re not being allowed to enter the lift as people don’t like dogs.” The workers immediately removed all their items from the elevator on the ground floor; they had to go to the basement and said, “Ma’am, please take the lift, else others will not let you enter. We’ll go in the next round.”

Does muzzling a dog change people’s mindset? He was barely a six- or seven-month-old golden retriever pup, and all he’s learned to attack is his toy dinosaur. He sits in the lift quietly, face down between his paws behind our feet. I’m sure he does get the negative vibes from people in the lift, but when he’s with us, he just focuses on the good.

The most interesting part about the poster is that muzzling the pet dogs is number 1 on priority, while other issues that plague us like security and safety are not even on the list! Photo credit: Tanya Munshi

6. Follow the rules as we cannot expect etiquettes from all

So, thanks to a few people who ‘hate’ dogs (usually a handful of them), they made a huge hue and cry that pet dogs could attack anyone anytime in the lift and wanted them to be muzzled. My heart broke. I just couldn’t bear to muzzle Samrat in the lift. So, I sat down with Samrat and sincerely apologised to him, explaining that he’ll have to wear a muzzle only in the lift.

The residents in our tower put up a poster in response to an incident in which a pet owner apparently walked into the elevator with their unmuzzled but leashed pet dog despite being asked by the residents inside not to, as they’re afraid of dogs.

If this is true, yes, we agree: the pet owner should not have entered and should have waited for the next lift, but this also applies to residents who aren’t comfortable with dogs in the lift, who should take the second lift if there’s already someone inside with a leashed pet dog. These are basic elevator etiquette rules, but where we, as educated people, lack civic sense, expecting elevator etiquette is asking for Jupiter and Saturn in our shopping bag.

I’m sure requests may have been made to discuss this with all the residents, but given the way pet owners and pet dogs have been demonised, a dialogue probably wouldn’t have helped.

I admit, our dog wears the muzzle with slight protest at home; he enters the lift, sits in his usual spot, the corner-most part of the lift, while he’s on a leash with us, and the moment we step out, he sits down and waits for his muzzle to be removed.

I was impressed – he taught me something very valuable that day: be smart when following a rule. The rule said ‘muzzle your dog’ ‘inside’ the elevator (not outside), so the moment we’re out of the elevator, we remove it.

The most interesting part about the poster is that muzzling the pet dogs is number one on priority, while other issues that plague us – like security and safety, cleanliness, poor/ dilapidated construction, illegal parking, residents throwing cigarettes and personal items (used condoms, cigarette butts and sanitary pads) down their balconies into other people’s balconies are either missing or lowest in priority!

Now entering the lift has become almost like a trigger for me; I don’t know which ‘dog hater’ Samrat and I will encounter.

While the poster wasn’t created with any input from pet owners, it is an ‘advisory’ issued only in our tower, not in the other towers in the same society.

We respect the law and the sentiments of the people, but where is a poster that protects a pet and its owner from hate and harassment?

7. Being responsible

Many a time, when we visit the public park, we, as pet owners, have been cleaning up plastic bottles, broken beer bottles, beer cans, paper plates, and food containers (including waxing strips, cigarette butts and used tissues) so that our pets can play safely.

We usually stick to one corner of the park where our pets play without bothering anyone. Yet we’ve had people come up to us with sticks, asking us to leash our pet dogs and leave.

We walk with poop scoopers and newspapers, and if our pets litter anywhere, we are conscious enough to pick it up.

But people who don’t like dogs/ animals behave as if the world outside will be just how they want it at home.

8. When things get overwhelming – play!

Had it not been for Samrat, I would not have taken my breaks seriously. Summers, we wake up as early as 4:30 in the morning to go for our morning walks with him. We are conscious enough to use the elevators at ‘odd’ hours to avoid as many (negative) people as possible. We avoid taking him (unless it is an emergency) during rush hours – school or office hours.

Morning and evening walks, play with a ball when things get overwhelming that’s the motto we’ve learnt from our dog.

Samrat and The Write Compass

Today, Samrat has been an invaluable part of The Write Compass. He’s bonded with the children coming home to attend our W.I.N.G.S Program. They’ve started learning so much about dogs and kindness, not only to dogs but to all animals.

Samrat is a working dog; he is my colleague who works along with me while I mentor children. He just offers his warm presence while the children are reading, writing or colouring. He offers them his favourite ball to play with and sleeps next to them while they’re colouring or solving a puzzle.

Children ask questions about animals, including dogs. We learn about kindness toward animals. We understand the perceptions of fear and hatred towards animals, including dogs (pets or community members). If, as parents and adults, we pass down our fears to our children, why can’t we pass down kindness as well?

We’ve worked with Samrat for over six months in training him. He’s well-groomed and trained. He’s excellent with children. He helps keep their childhood naughty and mischievous. Mothers whose children attend the W.I.N.G.S Program are so happy that their children are happy here, not only learning but getting to love and be loved back by Samrat.

The world through a pup/ child’s eyes

It just makes me realise that a puppy up to its first year in this world has faced so much toxicity and negative people; how it must be for children too, who may be observing and exposed to so much negativity and may not always be able to put it into words as to how they’re feeling.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed with the world and their pettiness, I hug Samrat. He just seems to know that mumma may be struggling to process all the negativity, and he offers me his presence. He’s taught me the power of just being there, offering a warm hug when things get uphill and that’s exactly what our children, teens and adults need as well.

If you ever want to know what love, compassion, kindness, friendship, caring and happiness truly mean – play with a dog. Trust me, the amount an animal can teach you about love, empathy and kindness, no moral science books, textbooks or AI can ever describe it.

And if you’ve ever been loved by a dog, you’re truly blessed; it means you’re a good person. You’ll start seeing inward and introspect: what did you do right to be loved so unconditionally by a dog? You’ll start being kinder to yourself and work harder to be a better person.

As for the dog haters, well, we cannot change the world. We cannot change anyone. Instead of burning your energy into convincing people that dogs or any other animal deserve kindness, just focus on being kind to dogs or any animal.

On Samrat’s first birthday, he’s my fur baby boy, my companion, my friend and my mischief partner. I’m embracing the love and joy all over again because I’m blessed with the purest form of love from Lisa and now Samrat.

What dogs quietly teach us and how it shapes The Write Compass

Lisa and Samrat have taught me more about kindness, resilience, boundaries, rules, and love than any textbook ever could. They’ve shown me how much children and animals absorb from the world around them and how important it is to create spaces of safety, empathy and joy.

At The Write Compass, this is the spirit we bring into our mentorship programs: gentle guidance, emotional safety, play, and deep respect for each child’s pace.

If you’d like your child to learn in an environment where kindness, confidence and creativity matter as much as skills, get in touch to explore our W.I.N.G.S, I.N.S.P.I.R.E and other mentorship programs.

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