From Nurturers to Protectors: The Urgent Need for Self-Defence Workshops

This write-up is not a trigger for the Kolkata case, which has sent ripples throughout the country.  This article has been something that I have wanted to write for a while, and a self-defence workshop that I attended a couple of days ago, compelled me to pen down my thoughts.

Martial Vout, a Swiss based self-defence instructor and security advisor, addressing the participants. Photo credit: Ajendra Sirohi

Nurturers have the right to self-protect 

Alas, we cannot get back ‘Abhaya’ nor ever redeem her of the pain and the personal violation that she’s gone through. It has most certainly given me sleepless nights just thinking that it could have been me or any woman/ girl/ child I know.

When I was in school and college, whenever I read news articles on crimes against women and girls, I came up with this term in my head: the ‘Belan Brigade’ – why ‘Belan’? (In fact, a Google search revealed a women’s welfare NGO called Belan Brigade in Punjab; I’m so happy to see that).

Well, a ‘Belan’, or a simple rolling pin though a humble tool that helps a woman feed her family, can also be used as a protective tool for self-defence. A ‘belan’ is a metaphor; it could be anything a woman uses to nurture herself or her family and can be used as a self-defence weapon. We work tirelessly to nurture ourselves and our families. Still, if need be, we can do the hat of a disciplinarian or a protector, and we should not feel guilty about taking charge. 

Self-Defence Workshop hosted by HCL Foundation 

On 28th Aug ’24, my company, HCL Technologies, held a self-defence workshop in our Noida Sector 126 campus. I am so grateful and feel fortunate that I took the time to enrol and attend this eye-opener of a session.

I am so grateful to the HCL Foundation for organising this self-defence workshop, conducted by Ajendra Sirohi from Agragami India NGO and Martial Vout, a self-defence instructor and security advisor from Switzerland. 

Such workshops should be held regularly, as we tend to think it is not required. However, personal safety and self-defence skills are like a fire extinguisher or a life jacket; I pray we don’t have to use them, but having them on the premises and especially knowing them how to use these tools assures us that we can use them in an emergency. 

I learnt a bit of martial arts when I was in school. Believe me, it metamorphoses you into a different, more evolved personality. Some teachings by my sensai continue to remain with me more than 20-30 years down the line, especially the ones on self-defence and vigilance. I have passed on what I learned to my daughter, as I cannot always be there with her.  

Women participants learning self-defence techniques. Photo credit: Tanya Munshi

The concept of ‘touch’ 

One of the teachings that I really liked about was the concept of ‘good and bad touch’. It is not the same for everyone.  For some, a mere touch of a hand could be inappropriate, while for others, a tap on the shoulder. As women or individuals, we get to decide what our personal space is and to what extent we would ‘not’ like to be violated.  

Learning how to injure your offender while sending a strong message that you’re not to be messed with. Photo credit: Tanya Munshi

The power of raising our voice during a violation 

Ajendra and Martial talked about being alert about our surroundings and learning how to use our voices. Socially and culturally, we’re usually raised to be demure and not raise our voices. Still, it is our voice that will help us raise an alarm if we’re ever attacked or violated in our personal space, like home or work environment or a public space. We have to yell, shout or scream from our bellies when perceived with a potential threat – to shame the offender and raise an alarm.

The workshop also shed light on offenders who are usually known to women (husbands, boyfriends/ partners or male members of the family, friends, staff as this is where women tend to let their guard down) and in such cases, since women or girls are usually shocked or ashamed, they never tend to raise their voice or fight back.

It is natural for women not to raise their voices on offenders who are known to us for fear of being shamed, judged and blamed and mostly because we’re so shocked as we’re least expecting it from someone we know or trust. This is what the workshop focused on: we have to unlearn to stand up for our personal dignity and honour, no matter who it may be. 

As the participants opened up with their personal experiences, they also asked for self-defence tips for molestation and rape, citing examples of the Delhi, Hyderabad and the recent Kolkata case. Ajendra conducted excellent demonstrations with the help of women volunteers from the participants, and it was beneficial to know the offender’s mindset and how we can use our presence of mind to defend ourselves.

Learning to be vigilant and using our presence of mind is crucial in self-defence. Photo credit: Tanya Munshi

Being responsible for self 

It is essential to have the right attitude and mindset. Just because we know martial arts or self-defence does not mean we deliberately behave like invincible Bollywood heroes and fight the baddies. The real world is far from a staged, dramatised and scripted conflict. This is where Ajendra made us aware of and understand the difference between sports and self-defence techniques. While sports are primarily martial arts, self-defence techniques are more natural and practical ways to defend oneself.

We must remember that we, too, are responsible for our own safety and well-being. While it may be liberating to know we can wear anything we like or go anywhere we want, the primary responsibility lies with ourselves. We cannot risk our personal safety and integrity just because we are an empowered lot.

One of the exciting aspects that Martial Vout talked about is how a lion would never (sexually at times) mess with a lioness, knowing very well that if violated, she will unleash her wrath with her claws and fangs; sadly, in the human species we have forgotten to respect the space even when we claim to label ourselves as the ‘evolved species’. Maybe it is time we learn from them.

Self-Defence Techniques in progress by Ajendra and Martial – emphasizing in trusting our instincts. Photo credit: Tanya Munshi

Trusting our instincts 

Social media and digital overdose have made us dull, and we tend to lose our sense of instinct. Martial urged us to be alert and use our instincts and presence of mind to keep us safe in public and personal spaces.

Martial and Ajendra demonstrated several instances of physical assault during domestic violence or physical/ sexual abuse and simple yet practical and effective self-defence tactics women can use to protect themselves while hurting their offender, with the objective that they will never try to hurt her or any other woman again. They even demonstrated close to 14 types of grabbing and how we can smartly unshackle ourselves from the gruesome grips.

Ajendra Sirohi with the participants at HCL Tech & HCL Foundation, Noida. Photo credit: Martial Vout

Empowering women with practical tools for self-defence

It is imperative to note that these demonstrations are held by Martial and Ajendra, with women volunteers, as they want us to understand how a physical attack would appear in close to real terms. Having a female instructor would not directly sensitise the participants. Ajendra reinstated how men being stronger and more muscular can overpower us, while women being smarter and more intelligent to fight back with instincts and practical tools of self-defence.

Martial Vout with the participants at HCL Tech & HCL Foundation, Noida. Photo credit: Ajendra Sirohi

Self-defence is everyone’s right 

We have to evolve from those saas-bahu serials now. It is time for a sisterhood pact to be stronger. When using a self-defence tactic to hurt an offender, do it with a mindset to protect oneself while also sending a strong message that the offender should think a million times before hurting any other girl or woman or individual. 

I hope such self-defence trainings for both boys and girls are mandatorily taught in schools and colleges and are included as compulsory compliance trainings in organisations for men, women and other gender(s) to protect themselves.  

Along with textbook learning, we need to learn about self-defenc, sensitisingg both boys and girls,ands men and women, and respecting self and others – both physically and emotionally. 

Maintaining a balance

We cannot tip the balance, we need to create a balanced, equitable society. We cannot only be pro-women and forget the men. Remember, not all men are bad and there can be women offenders too.  So let’s not put too much onus on the men that they’re always responsible; it is a collaborative effort to stay safe. 

As I wrap up this piece, I am sharing this quote from the Bhagwat Geeta that I read while penning down my thoughts.

Shloka 3.35 (Chapter 3, Verse 35) 

श्रेयान् स्वधर्मो विगुणः परधर्मात्स्वनुष्ठितात्। 

स्वधर्मे निधनं श्रेयः परधर्मो भयावहः॥ 

śhreyān swa-dharmo viguṇaḥ para-dharmāt sv-anuṣhṭhitāt 

swa-dharme nidhanaṁ śhreyaḥ para-dharmo bhayāvahaḥ 

While carrying out one’s own responsibilities offers satisfaction and fulfilment, carrying out someone else’s might cause anxiety and unease.  As such, the individual needs to concentrate on fulfilling their own dharma, which is their innate responsibility or life’s mission, to the best of their abilities. 

While we serve and help others, we must not forget that we must nurture, care and protect ourselves, too.

If you wish to know more about these self-defence workshops, you can contact Martial and Ajendra here:

Contact: asirohi@agragami.org.in 

Mobile no: +91 96544 53345

Name of the NGO: Agragami 

Martial Vout: Martial Vout | Martial Vout